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Sydney: If it’s not your part, don’t sing it.

Watermelondrea: Bitch, you sound like Tinkerbell on steroids.

Sydney: And you think yours is any better? And what did you just call me?

Watermelondrea: A bitch. B-I-C-T-H.

Sydney and Watermelondrea, The Mafia

Sena: Now let’s get back to our rehearsals. And Australia..

Alyssa: It's ALYSSA!

Sena: Whatever. Android, get your crap together.

Sena and Alyssa, The Mafia

Trae: You know, there’s always one thing I despised about rich kids like you.

Felix: Oh, really? What's that?

Trae: They're not funny.

Trae and Felix, The Mafia

Sydney: What, why you looking at me like that?

Felix: I believe it’s why are you looking at me, Prescott.

Sydney: I passed Grammar in elementary school, Winchester, I don’t need you to correct me, honey.

Felix: Well, I guess your school didn’t teach you that a sentence must have a verb.

Sydney: Well, you know, I did learn that “kiss” is a verb, and it’s also a noun. So, how about you give my ass a kiss, or kiss my ass!

Trae: Got him, hah!

Carl: I think you just got a grammar lesson!

Sydney, Felix, Trae and Carl, The Mafia

Of course I can… be down! Like, “Yo, yo, wassup? What it do? Ride or die. SWAG.”

Gina, The Mafia

Gina: Well, I was really fed up with this girl named Abcde.

Trae: Abcde? What type of name is that?

Gina: A-B-C-D-E. It's spelled that way, no lie.

Trae and Gina, The Mafia

Sena: If we screw up, we’re all screw-ups, and we know that the only screw-up on this team is Apocalypse.

Alyssa: Alyssa!

Sena: Shut up, Alopecia!

Sena and Alyssa, 'The Devil's Protege

Carl: That’s right, cause if you mess with my bro again, you’re gonna have to deal with C-Murder. I chop down trees.

Dirty Dan: You want to go out on a date?

Carl: Sure!

—Carl and Dirty Dan, The Devil's Protege

Trae: The hell do I look like asking somebody on a date?

Sydney: How do you think I got my first date?

Trae: Chokehold.

Sydney: Hardy har har har!

Trae and Sydney, The Devil's Protege

What’s the matter, bro? You look like you just saw Dustin Diamond’s sex tape.

Trae, The Boomerang Effect

Nate: She’s probably an old hag with 4 cats that watches Golden Girls all night, crying.

FLASHBACK

Golden Girls Theme Song: Thank you for being a friend...

Rose: So beautiful.

Nate and Rose, The Boomerang Effect

Alex: Amigo, no estás ayudando!

Carl: Hey, hey, don’t get all bilingual with me, Daddy Yankee.

Alex and Carl

Sydney: Well, what are you trying to do? Become my gay best friend? I already have Trae

Joe: I thought he was bi?

Sydney: Same thing.

Sydney and Joe, The Boomerang Effect

Nate: Listen, Farrah Fawcett—I know what you’re trying to do with Joe, and it’s not going to happen.

Sydney: First off, who… the hell is that? It sounds like a name brand for a sink.

Nate and Sydney, The Boomerang Effect

Trae: When I tell her I’m heading out, she gives me extra money—who am I to turn that down? That’s like turning down a hot date.

Alex: Or a dollar menu special at McDonald’s.

Gina: A free shopping spree at H&M and Forever 21.

Carl: Or a free B.J. in the alleyway.

  • silence*

Carl: Too far?

Trae, Alex, Gina and Carl, The Feminist Manifesto

It’s not fair the way women are treated, and I swear if that Troy boy touches me or looks at me one more time, I’m going to shank him. I will go over to his house with a knife and chop off his di—

PLEASE STAND BY

Ooh, that makes me so mad!

Brianna Townsend, The Feminist Manifesto

Alyssa: I support feminism because I’m a lesbian.

Iesha: You don’t even have your period yet, shut up!

Alyssa: My grammar is good, thank you very much.

Alyssa and Iesha, The Feminist Manifesto

Eric: Son, I placed at least $60 in your room for emergencies.

Carl: You know, I wondered what that was for. I thought it was just destiny giving me what I love most.

Karen: Carl, you know that was for emergencies only.

Carl: That’s what I used it for—I thought Nicki Minaj would be at FYE for her album signing around 12 pm, but Trae called and told me it was 10 am; hence an emergency.

—Carl, Eric and Karen, The Wild Ride

Alex: Just be patient.

Trae: Patient? You want me to be patient? N-n-n-no. I’ve been patient, waiting for a guy or a girl to hop on this Ventura rodeo. I have been patiently waiting for Orange is the New Black to come on Netflix. I was patiently waiting for gay marriage to be legal in America. I have been patient for three years, Alex. Three years. Three years, I’ve waited for Rihanna to release this new album. Bitch better have my album! I have been patiently waiting so patiently that I don’t even have the patience to be patient!

Alex: T-Trae?

Trae: I’m so impatient, I’m losing my patience because I’m not patient enough to be patient, damn it!

Trae and Alex, The Wild Ride

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